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I followed the world, got into dating, and fell flat on my face each time.

I vowed to myself, that I would never date, over and over again, did I break that vow.

I hated my parents, hated my life, and eventually grew to hate people altogether.

On February 14th,(Valentine's Day), 1998, I prayed to recieve Jesus Christ as my Lord, alongside of my girlfriend.

I was emotional, true, however, as for thinking that I did this so that I could live for God. Nah. I prayed with my girlfriend so that she may be proud of me, happy for me, and like me just a tad bit more.

Boy! Was I messed up or what?

About a week after all this had happened, she broke up with me, and I felt that I should commit suicide.

Another mistake. Suicide over an ex-girlfriend. What a waste of a life.

My friend talked me out of it. Wasn't my time to go.

Just a few months ago, I went to Acquire the Fire in San Antonio.

They showed the BEMA and how people are placed in our lives for reasons. However, you misused the situation and instead of showing God to them, you used that situation to benefit yourself. I realized then, the many situations God had placed me into, hoping I would make the right choice, however, knowing that I wouldn't. And I didn't.

That night, we had praise and worship. That night, I found myself, face down on the pavement, crying before God. Praying that we would forgive me of the sins that I had done. For the many times that he tried to help me, and I refused, for the times I was supposed to share him with others, and used those times to glorify myself.

What a selfish person I was.

That all changed then. My whole life changed. I realized that I had a purpose in my life. To serve God and to do His will in my life. I also learned, that even when you don't think you have someone that loves you:

He always will.

So think about that. God loves you, no matter what you do.

"For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13

-- RoMaN